It happened...

I had a meltdown. Yup, thats right, a meltdown over this homeschool stuff. I feel like I'm getting no where, teaching nothing and am completely failing on this. Everyday is like a fight, for Mason and myself. I struggle with whether I'm teaching the right things, doing enough, depriving him of a "real" education and screwing him up. There is so much he needs to know and doesn't and honestly I'm not doing that good at making him. I want to succeed in this very badly!

I go in spirts. One minute I am so energized and doing really well and the next minute all I wanna do is sit on the coach and let them play. This was supposed to be fun and exciting. I know, wait... I KNOW it can be! I see all these cool things and ideas, but when it comes to implementing them I just have a hard time balancing everything. I think back and wonder what happened to the teacher in me. Maybe thats the problem, I'm focusing too much on teaching instead of learning. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I don't know. I could really use some prayers or ideas on this. I need direction, guidance, motivation, and most of all cooperation from Mason. Not too mention that this has made me feel so isolated from other people.

Okay, off I go to download more possible things to implement.
Talk soon!

Reptiles...

So in light of my depressed mood lately, we have had some good days with homeschooling. We have been into reptiles lately. A little side note...Weston has a Webkinz that is a Red-Eyed Tree Frog and has developed a new love for it. I have to say...so have I. The other day he told me that he wants a "real" one for Christmas. I immediately thought to myself, sure, of course I'll run right out and buy one. :) My next thought was, do they even sell those. By the way, YES they do sell them! Just my luck. haha They are actually really pretty frogs.

So I began my search and that began our reptile discussions and research. Did you know that there are about 4000 species of frogs in the world?? Thats amazing! In our searching around town for frogs, and specifically a red-eyed tree frog, we found several different types. There is one called a pacman frog that get just about as big as your head. Not something I'd want to find out of his tank. haha There are so many different types of tree frogs, more than I ever thought possible. Today we took a mini field trip to the pet store by our house that mainly specializes in reptiles. We were there almost an hour!! It was so much fun and we all learned a lot with the very helpful staff member who answered every question the boys (and I) asked. Weston got to have an up close and personal visit with his dream Christmas present while we discovered that there is a very rare one called an Albino red-eyed tree frog. It was the neatest thing to see, but not a first time reptile owner kinda frog. That tiny little frog was $200!!

I think the next addition to our family will be a tiny little red-eyed reptile. :) Just to be clear I meant that the albino frog was the expensive one. We won't be purchasing that one. LOL

We left the store with a new appreciation for reptiles and 3 brand new additions to the Christmas list. haha It consisted of a red-eyed tree frog..of course (but he's not wanting to wait), a turtle and a chameleon! :) The turtle I'm not sold on, especially since its VERY expensive, but the chameleon was so beautiful, I know your probably thinking how, but it was. It had a great personality and every time we walked up to the tank it would climb as fast as it could to get the where we were and sit there and show off.

I know Christmas is a little while away, but I'm not good with names for pets and honestly neither are the kids. :) So I'm asking all of you for help. Seriously, please help me!! I want to be able to suggest names to the kids when we bring it home.

Who would of thought I would be buying a reptile...NOT ME...but I am actually kinda excited!

Update: I just asked Weston what he would name his frog if he got one, his answer...Froggy! Told you all I needed help. hahaha :)

No words

I first want to thank all of you for your prayers for my cousin Amber. I appreciated them greatly and I know she did too. I got a call about an hour ago saying that she passed away. I'm going out on a limb here and saying that I'm not taking this well at all. I am a complete mess! What most people don't realize is that Amber lived with me my entire life, so she was more like a sister. I just recently got back into touch with her after she moved to Alabama and we lost contact. Our time left together was very short.

I would love to tell you all that I have a peace about it and that I know that she is in a better place, but I honestly can't tell you that.

I am at a lose for words right now. This is about all I can come up with. I am, however, going to make a post dedicated to her because there will be no memorial service and I feel she deserves it...and honestly...I just need to do it.

Football, Cookies, Hot Chocolate and Pumpkin Pie

A quick update on my cousin. I am going down, as long as nothing major happens sooner, the weekend on November 7. Her oldest daughter lives here with her dad and I asked her if she would like to go and she was very excited that I would extend the offer. So that weekend worked best for both of us as long as nothing major happens. Prayers are still needed please. :)

Okay..now to the fun stuff! Football!!! Well, I'm not a huge fan, but William and Mason have been turned into fans I think. William won free tickets at work to the Purdue Football game this weekend. He and Mason sat out in the cold while I enjoyed my nice warm house. :) The twins were pretty upset that daddy didn't have enough tickets for them. Weston was more crushed than Isaac, but then Isaac asked if baseball games took tickets and could we go to a baseball game while daddy and Mason were at the football game. I kindly explained that baseball was over and yes it took tickets. They said that they wanted to do something...so we went to lunch! I really didn't expect Mason to last past half time so I didn't want to do anything big, but to my surprise he lasted the WHOLE game and wants to do it again. This comes as a complete shock from a kid that doesn't like to play sports. So here are some highlights!

This was the view of the field from their seats...they were close!

Mason said that went they would put the "P" down it looked like it was going down a toilet. Don't ask!

Cookies and Hot Cocoa....well, lets just say as the temperature gets colder outside I get the urge to bake all the time! I LOVE to bake!!! I'm not a good cook and I don't really like to cook, but I LOVE to bake! On Friday we had a day of just vegging out which consisted of watching movies, baking cookies and making lots of hot cocoa!! Last year I bought a hot cocoa maker and I LOVE it!! While I can not do that everyday it was nice to just do nothing for one day. Now it's back to moving and trying to shed some of these pounds during the holiday months. :)

Pumpkin Pie!!! Let me just start by saying that I don't even like pumpkin pie or any kind of pie really. I know, I've been called strange, but I love to bake them! So when we were at the store Mason asked if we could make a pumpkin pie...literally MAKE it. That was a challenge I will willing to take. :) I have never done it before and let me just say that it is a lot of work, but loads of fun! Today after church I decided that we would give it a shot.

I let the kids have at the pumpkins and clean them out so we could bake the seeds and eat them.

Weston wanted no part..."it makes my hands yucky!" He hasn't liked the feel of the inside of a pumpkin since he was a toddler. I have pictures of him running away from it when he was 2. :)
Then it was time to boil the pumpkin. You can also bake it.Then you let it cool and take the peeling off. I found easier to use a knife and just scope the pumpkin off the peeling. The its time to mash it!! :)

Then it said to drain well, but I didn't have anything to drain so I guess I got lucky and picked a good pumpkin. Finally I got to use my new mixing bowls and added all the ingredients in. Well Mason did anyway. :) I doubled the spices because I had read it tastes better. I got the recipe from allrecipes.com of anyone wants it.

The boys had to smell it to make sure it smelled like pumpkin pie. I was surprised as it smelled like one you would buy from the store.

Its now after 5 and I have just finished! I was serious when I said it takes a long time!

Now its time to see if it passes the test with the kids!! :)

She's been found!

Finally, after several phone calls and many hours of contemplating whether I was doing the right thing...she has been found! I have spoken with her nurse and confirmed that some of the stuff I was told was found to be untrue, that is truely a blessing guys. The nurse was very kind and I have a peace about how she's being taken care of. I have yet to speak with her because she was sleeping, but am going to try back later as they are an hour behind us so its not really late there.

Here's the problem. I would LOVE to leave tonight and drive over night and then get all day tomorrow with her stay over Saturday night, then get to spend Sunday with her and drive back late Sunday night. The problem...we mistakenly told Mason about the football game he was going to get to see tomorrow and he is very excited. I know that doesn't compare to what I need to do, but I hate to break his heart and my husband doesn't like the idea of leaving tonight. If we leave tomorrow then we can't leave until around 4 which puts us there at midnight and I only get one day with her and he misses a days pay of work. I really want to do whats best, but I am not a very patient person so this is really hard to make this decision.

Please pray that I listen to God and do what is asked of me...even if it requires being patient.

Prayers needed!

Update: My cousin has been moved to a rehab center, but is not doing well at all. The father of her girls has taken them to Georgia and she is there alone. Well, shes not alone, God is with her, but based on our conversations before she doesn't believe that. I have heard several things and trying as we speak to find out exactly what is going on, but I do know that things are really bad and there is talk of her being in a coma. She has made the statement that since her girls are gone then she has nothing left to fight for. She, to my knowledge, is not saved.

I know you all know how important this is, but its so severe. Not only is she alone with no family, but she has no hope and we all know that there is hope in Jesus. I have been praying that God put someone in her path to show her the love of Jesus so that she will accept him. But the more and more I pray I feel like God is telling me that person is YOU.

I, as of right now if everything goes okay (as in if I can locate her and she's not in a medically induced coma), am going to step out in faith and make the drive down to see her even though we can not financially afford this. Of course I want her healed and better and I have been praying Gods will for this situation, but above all I want her to know the love of Christ. I'm just asking that you pray Gods will and if this is how its supposed to happen then let it happen and if not that he would give me some kind of peace.

Thanks guys! I'll update once I know more.

Urgent Prayer Request!

Many of you know of my cousin that was up to visit that has brain cancer. I have just recently gotten off the phone with her and things are not good at all. A little background first. When she finished her radiation it worked a little bit. The tumor shrunk from 5 to 4, so they decided to start chemo. They also suggested that she have surgery to have it removed because of multiple seizure episodes that were very severe. The seizures caused her to loss control/feeling of her left side. She had the surgery 2 days ago and the tumor has already started to grow back. So it did not work. :(

I have just gotten off the phone with her and I'm having mixed emotions. No doubt that I am sobbing and very concerned. While we were talking it was as if sometimes she didn't hear me. At one point she asked me to hang on and I could her the nurse in the background so I just waited. I asked her if someone was there and she said she thought so. I could clearly hear the nurse. But then I couldn't hear anything and she still wasn't talking. So I asked how the girls were and she just said fine. It was as if any answer that was more than just a simple yes or no was too hard and she didn't understand. I am not sure what has all happened and the only information I can obtain is from a very unreliable source. My aunt had to get very firm to get the name of the hospital after several attempts and phone calls by ourselves.

Obviously...I would LOVE to see healing for her!! Most of all, I pray she gets saved!! I pray that God places someone close to her to show her the love of God, his grace, his mercy, his kindness, and his LOVE!!

I know that they are transfering her to a therapy facility to help her get back up and moving again. I am considering going down to visit and help her through the transition as she has no one down there. Please pray that if I am supposed to go down that we can make it happen and if not then pray that someone down there shows Gods love and reaches out to her.