It happened...

I had a meltdown. Yup, thats right, a meltdown over this homeschool stuff. I feel like I'm getting no where, teaching nothing and am completely failing on this. Everyday is like a fight, for Mason and myself. I struggle with whether I'm teaching the right things, doing enough, depriving him of a "real" education and screwing him up. There is so much he needs to know and doesn't and honestly I'm not doing that good at making him. I want to succeed in this very badly!

I go in spirts. One minute I am so energized and doing really well and the next minute all I wanna do is sit on the coach and let them play. This was supposed to be fun and exciting. I know, wait... I KNOW it can be! I see all these cool things and ideas, but when it comes to implementing them I just have a hard time balancing everything. I think back and wonder what happened to the teacher in me. Maybe thats the problem, I'm focusing too much on teaching instead of learning. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I don't know. I could really use some prayers or ideas on this. I need direction, guidance, motivation, and most of all cooperation from Mason. Not too mention that this has made me feel so isolated from other people.

Okay, off I go to download more possible things to implement.
Talk soon!

Reptiles...

So in light of my depressed mood lately, we have had some good days with homeschooling. We have been into reptiles lately. A little side note...Weston has a Webkinz that is a Red-Eyed Tree Frog and has developed a new love for it. I have to say...so have I. The other day he told me that he wants a "real" one for Christmas. I immediately thought to myself, sure, of course I'll run right out and buy one. :) My next thought was, do they even sell those. By the way, YES they do sell them! Just my luck. haha They are actually really pretty frogs.

So I began my search and that began our reptile discussions and research. Did you know that there are about 4000 species of frogs in the world?? Thats amazing! In our searching around town for frogs, and specifically a red-eyed tree frog, we found several different types. There is one called a pacman frog that get just about as big as your head. Not something I'd want to find out of his tank. haha There are so many different types of tree frogs, more than I ever thought possible. Today we took a mini field trip to the pet store by our house that mainly specializes in reptiles. We were there almost an hour!! It was so much fun and we all learned a lot with the very helpful staff member who answered every question the boys (and I) asked. Weston got to have an up close and personal visit with his dream Christmas present while we discovered that there is a very rare one called an Albino red-eyed tree frog. It was the neatest thing to see, but not a first time reptile owner kinda frog. That tiny little frog was $200!!

I think the next addition to our family will be a tiny little red-eyed reptile. :) Just to be clear I meant that the albino frog was the expensive one. We won't be purchasing that one. LOL

We left the store with a new appreciation for reptiles and 3 brand new additions to the Christmas list. haha It consisted of a red-eyed tree frog..of course (but he's not wanting to wait), a turtle and a chameleon! :) The turtle I'm not sold on, especially since its VERY expensive, but the chameleon was so beautiful, I know your probably thinking how, but it was. It had a great personality and every time we walked up to the tank it would climb as fast as it could to get the where we were and sit there and show off.

I know Christmas is a little while away, but I'm not good with names for pets and honestly neither are the kids. :) So I'm asking all of you for help. Seriously, please help me!! I want to be able to suggest names to the kids when we bring it home.

Who would of thought I would be buying a reptile...NOT ME...but I am actually kinda excited!

Update: I just asked Weston what he would name his frog if he got one, his answer...Froggy! Told you all I needed help. hahaha :)

No words

I first want to thank all of you for your prayers for my cousin Amber. I appreciated them greatly and I know she did too. I got a call about an hour ago saying that she passed away. I'm going out on a limb here and saying that I'm not taking this well at all. I am a complete mess! What most people don't realize is that Amber lived with me my entire life, so she was more like a sister. I just recently got back into touch with her after she moved to Alabama and we lost contact. Our time left together was very short.

I would love to tell you all that I have a peace about it and that I know that she is in a better place, but I honestly can't tell you that.

I am at a lose for words right now. This is about all I can come up with. I am, however, going to make a post dedicated to her because there will be no memorial service and I feel she deserves it...and honestly...I just need to do it.

Football, Cookies, Hot Chocolate and Pumpkin Pie

A quick update on my cousin. I am going down, as long as nothing major happens sooner, the weekend on November 7. Her oldest daughter lives here with her dad and I asked her if she would like to go and she was very excited that I would extend the offer. So that weekend worked best for both of us as long as nothing major happens. Prayers are still needed please. :)

Okay..now to the fun stuff! Football!!! Well, I'm not a huge fan, but William and Mason have been turned into fans I think. William won free tickets at work to the Purdue Football game this weekend. He and Mason sat out in the cold while I enjoyed my nice warm house. :) The twins were pretty upset that daddy didn't have enough tickets for them. Weston was more crushed than Isaac, but then Isaac asked if baseball games took tickets and could we go to a baseball game while daddy and Mason were at the football game. I kindly explained that baseball was over and yes it took tickets. They said that they wanted to do something...so we went to lunch! I really didn't expect Mason to last past half time so I didn't want to do anything big, but to my surprise he lasted the WHOLE game and wants to do it again. This comes as a complete shock from a kid that doesn't like to play sports. So here are some highlights!

This was the view of the field from their seats...they were close!

Mason said that went they would put the "P" down it looked like it was going down a toilet. Don't ask!

Cookies and Hot Cocoa....well, lets just say as the temperature gets colder outside I get the urge to bake all the time! I LOVE to bake!!! I'm not a good cook and I don't really like to cook, but I LOVE to bake! On Friday we had a day of just vegging out which consisted of watching movies, baking cookies and making lots of hot cocoa!! Last year I bought a hot cocoa maker and I LOVE it!! While I can not do that everyday it was nice to just do nothing for one day. Now it's back to moving and trying to shed some of these pounds during the holiday months. :)

Pumpkin Pie!!! Let me just start by saying that I don't even like pumpkin pie or any kind of pie really. I know, I've been called strange, but I love to bake them! So when we were at the store Mason asked if we could make a pumpkin pie...literally MAKE it. That was a challenge I will willing to take. :) I have never done it before and let me just say that it is a lot of work, but loads of fun! Today after church I decided that we would give it a shot.

I let the kids have at the pumpkins and clean them out so we could bake the seeds and eat them.

Weston wanted no part..."it makes my hands yucky!" He hasn't liked the feel of the inside of a pumpkin since he was a toddler. I have pictures of him running away from it when he was 2. :)
Then it was time to boil the pumpkin. You can also bake it.Then you let it cool and take the peeling off. I found easier to use a knife and just scope the pumpkin off the peeling. The its time to mash it!! :)

Then it said to drain well, but I didn't have anything to drain so I guess I got lucky and picked a good pumpkin. Finally I got to use my new mixing bowls and added all the ingredients in. Well Mason did anyway. :) I doubled the spices because I had read it tastes better. I got the recipe from allrecipes.com of anyone wants it.

The boys had to smell it to make sure it smelled like pumpkin pie. I was surprised as it smelled like one you would buy from the store.

Its now after 5 and I have just finished! I was serious when I said it takes a long time!

Now its time to see if it passes the test with the kids!! :)

She's been found!

Finally, after several phone calls and many hours of contemplating whether I was doing the right thing...she has been found! I have spoken with her nurse and confirmed that some of the stuff I was told was found to be untrue, that is truely a blessing guys. The nurse was very kind and I have a peace about how she's being taken care of. I have yet to speak with her because she was sleeping, but am going to try back later as they are an hour behind us so its not really late there.

Here's the problem. I would LOVE to leave tonight and drive over night and then get all day tomorrow with her stay over Saturday night, then get to spend Sunday with her and drive back late Sunday night. The problem...we mistakenly told Mason about the football game he was going to get to see tomorrow and he is very excited. I know that doesn't compare to what I need to do, but I hate to break his heart and my husband doesn't like the idea of leaving tonight. If we leave tomorrow then we can't leave until around 4 which puts us there at midnight and I only get one day with her and he misses a days pay of work. I really want to do whats best, but I am not a very patient person so this is really hard to make this decision.

Please pray that I listen to God and do what is asked of me...even if it requires being patient.

Prayers needed!

Update: My cousin has been moved to a rehab center, but is not doing well at all. The father of her girls has taken them to Georgia and she is there alone. Well, shes not alone, God is with her, but based on our conversations before she doesn't believe that. I have heard several things and trying as we speak to find out exactly what is going on, but I do know that things are really bad and there is talk of her being in a coma. She has made the statement that since her girls are gone then she has nothing left to fight for. She, to my knowledge, is not saved.

I know you all know how important this is, but its so severe. Not only is she alone with no family, but she has no hope and we all know that there is hope in Jesus. I have been praying that God put someone in her path to show her the love of Jesus so that she will accept him. But the more and more I pray I feel like God is telling me that person is YOU.

I, as of right now if everything goes okay (as in if I can locate her and she's not in a medically induced coma), am going to step out in faith and make the drive down to see her even though we can not financially afford this. Of course I want her healed and better and I have been praying Gods will for this situation, but above all I want her to know the love of Christ. I'm just asking that you pray Gods will and if this is how its supposed to happen then let it happen and if not that he would give me some kind of peace.

Thanks guys! I'll update once I know more.

Urgent Prayer Request!

Many of you know of my cousin that was up to visit that has brain cancer. I have just recently gotten off the phone with her and things are not good at all. A little background first. When she finished her radiation it worked a little bit. The tumor shrunk from 5 to 4, so they decided to start chemo. They also suggested that she have surgery to have it removed because of multiple seizure episodes that were very severe. The seizures caused her to loss control/feeling of her left side. She had the surgery 2 days ago and the tumor has already started to grow back. So it did not work. :(

I have just gotten off the phone with her and I'm having mixed emotions. No doubt that I am sobbing and very concerned. While we were talking it was as if sometimes she didn't hear me. At one point she asked me to hang on and I could her the nurse in the background so I just waited. I asked her if someone was there and she said she thought so. I could clearly hear the nurse. But then I couldn't hear anything and she still wasn't talking. So I asked how the girls were and she just said fine. It was as if any answer that was more than just a simple yes or no was too hard and she didn't understand. I am not sure what has all happened and the only information I can obtain is from a very unreliable source. My aunt had to get very firm to get the name of the hospital after several attempts and phone calls by ourselves.

Obviously...I would LOVE to see healing for her!! Most of all, I pray she gets saved!! I pray that God places someone close to her to show her the love of God, his grace, his mercy, his kindness, and his LOVE!!

I know that they are transfering her to a therapy facility to help her get back up and moving again. I am considering going down to visit and help her through the transition as she has no one down there. Please pray that if I am supposed to go down that we can make it happen and if not then pray that someone down there shows Gods love and reaches out to her.

...and thats just what we did!! So this week I have tried to take the "school" out of schoolwork. Have I confused you all yet. haha Ok, so I'll do my best to explain. I had originally thought that I would be the homeschooling mom that would LOVE book work and worksheets and operate like a "true" classroom. Thats what I get for thinking. haha I have been so stretched and so worried about all this homeschool stuff that I basically said forget it...for now anyway. We did do a some work don't get me wrong, but we basically just tried to have as much fun as we could and figure out how much learning was involved. Does that make sense? I hope so! :)

I have learned that Mason really does get Math, has really nice handwriting when he gives effort and LOVES to help around the house!! The twins LOVE singing, drawing, handwriting, cooking and helping around the house. All 3 of them love to help, with the exception of cleaning their own rooms. :) Mason and I have taken a break on Math for now because its getting into multiplication and he's not ready for that yet. We tried guys...really, he's not ready. It was quite interesting. So we are going to work a little more on some basic concepts, a LOT of reading and go from there. The twins are ready to be challenged though. I'm not sure whats in store for them next, but lets just say my kitchen may have some preschool things up on the walls. Creative huh? :)

I have to say that we have had a blast this week...and here's what we've been doing!

We started off with a little vacuuming.

Then we took the advice off my friend Amy's blog and made some homemade applesauce! YUM!!
I promise it looked better than this once we were done!

Follow up eating and cooking applesauce with doing some dishes.

How's that for some stacking?

Look Mom...my first dish-pan hands! :)

Oh...and we can't forget the naps! :)
Then I tried to get creative in the kitchen. hahaha For those of you that don't know...I can't cook! So this is really quite funny! I'll describe it before the picture so that you know what your looking at. hahaha I saw an octopus made out of a hot dog and thought how cool...yeah right! Side note: Don't buy bun length hot dogs, they are too heavy and fall over. The boys said it looked like a dead octopus. Hows that for honesty!So now that we all know I can't cook...on to something more fun! I think I'll just stick with paper crafts instead of food. :)

We went to the park today and looked for some leaves. Our leaf trip ended up being a pine cone excursion! We walked away with about 15 of them!

Then it was off for some "gym" time. hahaThen off we went home to do some leaf rubbing. This was the funnest thing we have ever done! We taped the leaves to the table and then taped paper on top of them. Grabbed some crayons...and start rubbing! The boys just kept going and going. They were like little energizer bunnies! :)

Tomorrow we are going to paint them with watercolors and hang them in the windows. I'll post pictures after I get all 30 of them cut out. Anyone up for some cutting? hahaha

Our weeks not done yet either. We are off for a play date tomorrow at the park and finish up our leaf project!

Ladies, this week has been a much better week! Hopefully more will come!

Stuck!

So tonight I was hassled by a good friend about my blog. :) She said that she couldn't keep up on everything if I didn't blog about it. Well, my friends, I haven't blogged because I am stuck! Literally stuck in everything...relationships, parenting, marriage, homeschooling and even blogging. This has definitely been a trying season for me and it can seriously end anytime soon, like yesterday. I haven't blogged because I haven't felt anything was blog worthy, sorry.

So let's see, where to start. Homeschooling....well, isn't going that great. We are stuck in a rut. We have still only been doing 3 worksheets and we're a month into it. Those are about all I can get out of him and me. I LOVE the Math and all, but we are bored and I do mean WE. He is tired of doing the same old things everyday and frankly so am I. I just can't throw another worksheet into it. This was supposed to be fun and I'm not having any fun so I know that he's not. I still have to add in Language and Spelling. We are doing a little better on reading, and I really honestly mean a little. We are definitely not reading like we should (we have increased from not at all though), but I think it goes back to the whole boredom thing. I have got to find a way to make this fun for him. And honestly, me too. That was the whole point to this. The twins on the other hand LOVE worksheets!! I just wish I had a little bit more to go along with their curriculum though. Sure we play games and paint and all that fun stuff, but there has to be more. Surely there's more! So, you all may think I'm crazy and I'm starting to think it myself, but I'm considering throwing out everything and trying something new. Ouch! Here's the problem...thats a ton of money down the drain and no money to buy new things. Honestly guys, I'm really starting to question whether I can do this. I know everyone has said that the first year is the hardest, but seriously we have to accomplish something and I feel like we are not accomplishing anything at all. I have lost all my motivation and energy. See why I haven't blogged. It's depressing. :(

So I guess that leaves me with relationships, parenting and marriage. Can I just say one word...disconnected. That is how I feel. And I think I'll just leave it at that because I could probably go into a long list off of that.

I know, I know, my first post in a long time and a depressing one at that. Hopefully I'll have something more positive to post later. Oh wait, I do have something completely off the subject. :)

Fireproof!! If you haven't seen it...go see it! Its a great movie! Here's the backstory. Alot of you may not know that I am a huge fan of the broadway musical Rent, really broadway in general, but Rent is my all-time fav. When I say huge I mean it. I have seen it 8 times, 5 of those were in NYC. all but twice from the pit seats. :) So anyway, its run has come to an end (12 years on broadway...the 7th longest running show) and they filmed the last show to air in the theatres. Needless to say I was very excited!! I bought my tickets 2 weeks in advance thats how excited I was. I will NEVER do that again!! I would not suggest that to anyone. Why you ask. Well, I'll tell ya. haha My friend and I got to theatre so excited and with so much energy. We got our popcorn and walked in theatre number 3 to hear the music playing. Now mind you that the movie wasn't supposed to start until 2 and its about 1:40. We just thought they were playing the soundtrack or something. That was until we notice that its pitch black, Tracie and Eden were on the screen singing Take Me or Leave Me, which meant it was past the intermission and everyone was looking at us like why are you walking in now. We were so confused. So to cut this short, they changed the time!!! The movie was originally planned to start at 2, which is what my ticket said. They changed it to 12!! Now I am not usually one to start a fuss, but this was the last day it was to be played and they shouldn't have changed the time after they sold a ticket. So after begging and pleading to play it again so we could see it and then refusing, we compromised. They gave us our money back, let us into a movie for free and gave us coupons. Oh, plus we got the Rent poster that they were using to advertise it. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm a huge fan. haha So, thats how we saw Fireproof. I will say that I am still a little upset over the whole issue, but it was meant for us to see Fireproof. I am amazed at how well this movie is put together and right on the money. So, I don't usually go to the theatre or advertise a movie, but go see it!! I am going to try to see it again only with my husband this time. Anyone up for a movie date?? Oh, and don't forget the box of tissues, you'll need it! :)

How's that for my first blog in almost a month. :) And I thought I had nothing to blog about. Still not sure its all blog worthy, but there it is Renay. haha

No reading...please!

One of Masons least favorite things to do is read. He struggles with comprehension and just reading in general so it makes it hard and boring for him. Needless to say, he has to read!! Its something he can't not do. So I went out and bought some cool Nate the Great detective books and threw a little incentive in with them. Mason LOVES comic books!! There is a store on 4th street that him and his dad go to all the time. I'm still not sold on the fact that he actually reads them, but he loves them...so...I told him that for every reading book he finished I would take him down to the store and I would buy him a comic book of his chioce. Great plan, right? Uh, no! I put no specifications on the deal. Good going Mom! :)

We started off the week good, as in good I mean getting our reading time in, but not good as in no fighting, which would be the reason for my title. So I offered him the chioce to read in his room while I was getting ready one morning. He did great and when I checked on him he really was reading because he told me what he just read. Sounds great right? When I proposed this plan I did not specify that he had to comprehend the story too. So when he came to me and told me he finished the book today I was very excited, that was until he couldn't tell me what the boys name was in the story.

So, on one hand its great that he finished the book and he felt so good about himself!! On the other hand, he couldn't tell me much about the book. After some prompting he did figure out the name (which by the way was Nate, see why I'm torn), but he couldn't remember much. So he then asked me if we could go down to get a comic book as I had promised. When I made the deal I did not tell him he had to report to me about the book, but the comprehension is very important. It doesn't do much good if he doesn't understand what he read. Thats not really reading, is it. I told him that I would like us to reread it together so that he can understand it before he gets the comic book. When I told him this he was crushed. It was like I just took his accomplishment and through it down the drain. I felt awful!

So here's my choices.

1) Buy him the comic book for finishing the book and talk about and set some new guidelines.
or
2) Make him reread the book with me in the next couple days, so that I know he comprehends it, and then go and buy him the comic book.

Thoughts or suggestions anyone??

We made it!

We made it through our first week of school! It went off well with some obvious things to work out. I have realized that no matter how much I want to I am not a morning person. I don't sleep well, sometimes not at all, at night and so it makes for a rough start if I try to get up early. Looks like we will be starting later than I had originally planned.

I am amazed how quickly the twins pick up on things. For instance, Weston couldn't spell his name or write it in order and within the first 2 days he had mastered it. Here's the proof! I think the twins will do very well!

This was day 1 with ALOT of coaching. :) Notice all the eraser marks. LOL
This is on Friday! You can barely tell which one is mine. :)

Mason has the occasional "I don't wanna do school." I'm hoping that changes for the sake of my sanity. haha For the most part his attitude is good though. We have also only started out with 2 papers. Boy is he in for it! haha

We also rocked out to Tobymac while painting! Did Math in our underwear. Wait, I better rephrase that...MASON did Math in his underwear! haha I asked him to get dressed and his words were, "Do I have to get dressed, its homeschool?" He got me there. So on Thursday we spent the day in our pajamas. :) We also learned how to do laundry.

It seems that school seems to continue throughout the day which I love! We had a very big wipe off board that the kids wrote on. Well, I cut it in 3 peices so that I could use it and they could have one when working with them. Weston and Isaac love to prop it up on the kitchen table bench and practice their "school work". It led to writing words and drawing in 3D and all sorts of things.

It will definitely take some time to adjust and get a routine together, but it has been an amazing week with many more to come.

Mason takes his handwriting to his room while I work with the twins. He loves this!

Weston and Isaac's 1st day of school! :)
Coloring their first worksheet. I know, you all probably think I'm crazy.
This is where I took the prompting and we spelled Cat. Yeah, who would of thought...not me.
Here we are painting to Tobymac! I LOVED IT!!!

So I expressed my anxiety in an earlier post, but I don't know if you truley understand how nervous I really was. It was bad. I have to tell you that I am now so excited!!! I am having so much fun. Its only the first week, I know, but it has went much better than I ever thought. It is alot more work than I thought it would be though, but so worth it. So when I have one of those moments later in the year...we know its going to happen...please refer me back to the post! :)

Its finally happening!

Its finally here...the 1st day of school is tomorrow!! I can't believe it is here and I can't believe that its actually going to happen. I am nervous as all get out! I have the twins entire curriculum planned out up until the end of November. It took me a while to figure out their reasoning for things, but once I just started in, it made complete sense. We are starting out slow for Mason. Our plan is for the first couple weeks brushing up on Math while starting the new lesson in our new book. :) He has always loved handwriting so we will start with that too and add everything else in slowly. He has expressed some anxiety, but I think once we get started he will love it. Well thats my hope anyway, with using the combination of things he likes and things he doesn't like to get started. The twins, on the other hand, are so excited!! They have been asking to start for weeks now as they have been watching me organize their papers. I am so excited to see the change in them as the year progresses. I am also hopeful to see Masons attitude for school change and realize how fun it really can be.

We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow and I will definitely be taking pictures of our new journey!

Weekend of Cars

So I am adjusting very well to my new TAN car! Well actually the boys call it a truck. I'm not sure what to call it to be honest, but I am adjusting very well. In fact...I LOVE IT!!! I am finding new gadgets all the time and I am very grateful that we have it! So here are some pictures.I must tell you all that the grill (or whatever you call that black thing) is, as we speak, being taken off. I debated it because if William wrecks again it will protect our front end, but we came to a decision and it is coming off.

Yesterday we spent the day in Indy with Williams mom and husband (aka Mama and Dave :) ) and went shopping. They had seen a store called Ride Makerz and wanted to take the boys. So we made a day of it. Its like a boys version of Build A Bear only they build CARS. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

First you pick out your body. Then you can pick out you own music. I forgot to take pictures of that. Oops! :) Then you decide if you want remote control and/or monster or street car. The boys opted for remote control street cars.

Then its off to pick out your tires and rims. The cars come with standard black or you can upgrade. We gave the boys a chioce. You can pick one upgrade, tires or rims. There are so many choices!! You would think you were building a real car. :) Mason choose to upgrade his tires to black and red ones. Weston choose to upgrade his rims to gold dragon ones (dragon rims on a fire truck, how cool!) and Isaac liked the black and decided to go with the standard. The cool thing is that even though they upgraded they still got the ones that came standard. So it was 2 for the price of 1...I LOVE IT!!There was a whole other row of rims that for some reason I didn't get in the picture.

Then it was off to put it together!! You could even race each other to see who could put it together the fastest. We opted out of that one.

So here's the finished products!! Weston choose to do a fire truck with the siren music..how appropriate! Which we could not talk him out of. :) And boy did he know what he was doing. He has one that can be switched out into the most things.

Isaac chose a Mustang with fire flames down the side with the rockin music.Mason chose a red Viper! He is definitely his dads child! LOL Then it was time to try them out! Yes...they let them play with them IN the store! Where do you get to do that?! While they were playing we were looking. You can buy decals, roof racks with surf boards, side pipes, underglows...you name it they have it. Its all magnetic so you can add and take away and redesign your car whenever you want. We did let Weston get some sirens for his fire truck. No fire truck is complete without sirens. :)

It was a great time!! And I have a feeling that it won't be the last. :) I'm almost done, hang in there! The post wouldn't be complete without some much needed sleeping pictures!

Thanks Mama and Dave for a GREAT DAY!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!